soundtrack in my heart.

yes. the blog was being a bitch. & i had to remake my old blog, spent a day.

and once i was back there. onsugar was hokay already. grr. seriously.

anw, i'm back to blogger.

moveddddddd.

I felt as if i lost my best friend today. This friendship came as quick&swift as lightning.

I tried to hold on to it. & act as if i don't care. Someone I planned to be good friends with

till the end of my life. I hate not being able to do anything. & subconciously. I hate knowing

there is nothing else left to be done. I hate that, that i have to give this friendship up to fate.

I hate loving someone and knowing that there is no happy ending. I don't know how to express

myself anymore. I miss the times we use to have. Really. I wont give those times up to anyone

FOR ANYTHING. & i hate giving up my past, when i find a new life. All i can say is it. I LOVE YOU,

MY BEST GIRLFRIEND & MY BEST LOVE(BOYFRIEND) i dont want our memories to go down the

drain. but i'm at wits end.I really am.

Coming out of my comfort zone. watch me spread my wings & fly.

Cognitive UT today, & urgh. my tummy couldn't keep quiet. Five damn times it reminded

me its time to eat. Naggy tummy, i got. HAHAH. and it was so embarrassing. I pretended

it was not coming from me. NOTE TO SELF, EAT BEFORE UT.yesh, i mweesd you. HAHAHA.

anyway, i wanna get mommy something for CNY. what should i get? Can't wait. Spent my CNY

mostly at home or out with a couple of friends. I hope this CNY is a happening one. :D && check

out Shakira's video. SHE WOLF. omg, i swear she is a hot mess. Her body is so weee-hoo-wee.

its super nice. OH MAN. perfection. HAHAHAHAH. but yes, i love who i am. thanks to the people

around me. :) okay, study study study time. two more papers to go. Can't wait.

Shyt. Home late to finish up with cognitiveeeee. But yes, To be really honest.

Today is one of my hap days. *before boyfy & I made that decision* I just think

that the phrase above is very true. Nothing is ever perfect, once we are way

past that, and accept our imperfections. THEN. we are happy. We have to

stop chasing whatever that makes us happy. & start realising what we have.

THATS. the first step to be happy. & yes. I have some chronic disease. I doubt

it was the ewwteeee that made me happy. I bet it was the people. Like those who

smiled at me even if i dont know. those friends who said hi. Jianyang craziness in

the morning, sche's puffy cute face & puppy's eyes, YK's shirt, Stanley's voice,

Lisa's smile, steve's stunned face.Billy's MAROON. ( yes, MAROON !) contacts

& Junyang's "thank you for the ppt " :D & of course huimin's stoopid red hair. Made

me realise. Hey. actually there are people who are there, although they may not

always be there. But yes, their irritating voice,and all, are always there & i loved it:D

haha, thankyou people. You made me happy.

& moving to the topic, of JY & mine decision. Yes, thursday. & i hope things will get

better. its sad to know that this part of my life isn't going that fantastic. But its HOKAY.

we will make it out of the rutty times before we can enjoy the good & i'll reflect. RJ :)

i'll keep this positive attitude.

hahaha. see you guys soon & thanks for making me happy. i love you.

Fugged. I feel so bribed by this new phone. Damn, installing it in my room. TSK.

Its hindering my decision making skills. TSK.

I'll never forget anyone that has been in my life, since I was born. Whether be it friends who came like a burst of lightning, or friends who

stayed but didnt contact, or friends who are always there. You're loved. Whether or not we are still friends. at least, there was a moment

of time,that we lived through & it was memorable. Thank you,for the memories.

He said : Option 2. I'm really sure of that, nothing will change my mind.

She said: When ?

He said: Will tell you about it again.

Words that hurt like a knife.

I dont get it. you said you didnt believe it in & all. Why must there be change?

how can i believe when, everything has changed. What you didnt believe in,

you did& now, you say its normal. I'm being pushed around, confused of what

is going on. Yes, its my bad too. But why did you change so drastically? You do

things you didnt used to do, then after that, act as if everything is okay. Why can't

thing be consistent. Yes I love you. But, why are things going this way? Why are they

changing. Yes, maybe I should be thankful that this isn't silent like the rest. But you

were way better than them, but why are things going in the same direction? IDK

what you want. &yes, I love the present. But i rather things be consistent &good.

&why am i always waiting for miracles to happen. why.

i asked myself a question. will the sun shine as bright as it used to after the storm?

I somewhat sensed that this time round after the quarrel, things would be different.

And the assurance I got was that, it would be the same. But actions are already

starting to slowly differ. I dont know. I am confused. I love you. But things and

situations keep getting in the way, we cannot be happy & you lost your freedom.

then whats the point of me being in your life? I wasnt meant to live a happy love life.

you know that.

I was waiting for you to come.